


Needless To Say

by mizsphinx



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Lucius Big Bang, Virgin Lucius
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-27
Updated: 2015-10-27
Packaged: 2018-04-28 08:54:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5085778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mizsphinx/pseuds/mizsphinx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Three times Lucius tried to lose his virginity, and the one time he did.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Needless To Say

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.
> 
> This is a short, silly fic written for the Lucius Big Bang 2013. It's meant to give you a little laugh. I hope it succeeds. :)

His heart beating hard against his chest, Lucius leant over Narcissa as he kissed her. It wasn't the most refined kiss, but Narcissa made no objections as she wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her breasts against his chest.

Their hands smoothed and touched each other, both of them excited and eager to discover the hidden places of each others' bodies. Narcissa unbuttoned the buttons on Lucius' shirt, Lucius drew down the sleeves of Narcissa's dress, and soon, they found themselves lying naked amidst the tall grass of the Malfoy French lands.

Lucius pulled away to look at Narcissa. It was his first time seeing a woman completely naked, and he took the opportunity to admire each curve and lift and slope of her body. She was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen, he concluded. Exquisite. Absolute perfection—

Was that a spider crawling up her hip?

"Heehee!" Narcissa giggled. "Lucius, that tickles!"

Lucius froze, unable to think of his next course of action. He hadn't an insurmountable fear of spiders, but he had enough disgust to avoid touching them. He edged away and opened his mouth to warn Narcissa at the same time she followed the direction of his gaze.

She let out a scream and flung her hands and feet wildly to knock the spider away. The back of her hand struck his nose hard; the side of her feet smacked his balls even harder.

Needless to say, Lucius Malfoy did not lose his virginity that afternoon.

**~~~**

The next opportunity to rid himself of Sexual Inexperience came three months later on Narcissa's birthday.

Ever the romantic, seventeen-year-old Lucius decided to put his Gringott's vault full of Galleons to good use and purchased a room at Wizarding Britain's finest hotel – the Four Wizardly Seasons.

"Yes, I'll have the Magically Deluxe Suite for one night, please," said he to the customer service rep, his arms encumbered with two bottles of red wine, three rose bouquets, two boxes of Damn Expensive chocolates, an Italian cream he'd had imported for Narcissa, and his heavy money-purse filled with the recently withdrawn Galleons.

Up in the hotel room, Lucius set about preparing for an evening filled with passionate love-making and no pillow talk afterwards. He conjured ice-buckets and settled the wine in them to chill, he spread the rose petals from two of the rose bouquets onto the bed, placing a single rose amidst it all, and he masturbated for a bit in the bathroom before he went to collect Narcissa.

"Oh, this is so lovely, Lucius," said Narcissa in pleased awe when he carried her to the room.

"Yes, I know," he replied, smirking as he presented her with one of the boxes of chocolate. "Have a chocolate."

She had the chocolate, and then she had the wine. He joined her in the wine-drinking until the first bottle was finished, and soon, they abandoned that activity for slobbery snogs and drunken petting. Lucius palmed her breasts, Narcissa gripped him through the material of his trousers, and as they edged unto the bed, Lucius remembered the lone, thorny rose he'd left there.

But it was too late. Narcissa threw her body back with abandon, and sprang right back up with a shriek of pain. Their foreheads collided and they both tumbled gracelessly to the floor. Lucius' left foot knocked against the little table upon which the other bottle of wine sat, and both table and wine crashed to the floor.

Needless to say, Lucius Malfoy did not lose his virginity that evening.

**~~~**

Lucius' first two failed attempts to taste the sweet fruit between Narcissa's legs did not deter him from trying again. _Third time's the charm and all that business_ , he thought as he headed towards the back gardens of the Malfoy estate.

His parents had hosted one of their annual summer parties and Lucius had every intention to take advantage of this event. He'd agreed to meet with Narcissa in the gardens where they would engage in glorious amorous congress, preferably more than once if she'd let him.

In the shadows, he noticed a figure waiting beneath the shade tree where they'd promised to meet. He didn't bother to light his wand for fear of attracting unwanted attention. Instead, he sidled close and said in sultry tones:

"Hello, my love. I have come to light your body afire."

She turned and pressed a finger to his lips, her other hand trailing over his robes to touch him where he liked to be touched. Then, she fell to her knees and unbuttoned his robes and his trousers. Her fingers—cool and…a lot more meatier than he remembered—encircled him, pumping him once, twice, before she guided his throbbing, turgid sword of heated passion into her mouth.

"Gods!" he cried, amazed both by her brazenness and this new sensation of a mouth on his cock. His hand moved to sift through her hair, and while it startled him to discover she'd cut it short, he was too consumed by her heavenly orifice enveloping him with a surprising adeptness.

"Lucius?" she said.

"Yes, my sweet?" he answered on a moan, his eyes closed.

A beam of light split the darkness, and Lucius opened his eyes to find Narcissa pointing her wand at him.

"Lucius!" she cried, her beautiful face twisted in confusion and fury. "What—how could you?"

Lucius' mouth fell open. " _Narcissa_?" Then he looked down. " _Goyle_?"

Goyle's mouth released Lucius' cock with a wet 'slrrrp.' " _Lucius_?"

Narcissa looked at Goyle. " _Goyle_?"

Goyle looked at Narcissa. " _Narcissa_?"

Silence.

Awkward silence.

Needless to say, Lucius Malfoy did not lose his virginity that night.

**~~~**

It took a great amount of apologies and pleas of forgiveness and ridiculously expensive gifts before Lucius was on good terms with Narcissa again.

"Do you fancy men?" she asked as they lay holding hands on her bed.

"No, of course not!" he said. "I…I like breasts! Women's breasts!"

"You like other women's breasts?"

"Never, darling! I only like your breasts."

"You only like my breasts? Is that the only thing you like about me, Lucius?"

"Certainly not. You are perfection and I would be foolish not to love you completely and forever."

"Hmm." She smiled at him, reaching over to caress his cheek. "Is that a promise?"

He pulled her close and kissed her.

"Yes, my love. It is."

Needless to say, Lucius Malfoy finally lost his virginity, and his heart to Narcissa as well.


End file.
